Sunday, March 19, 2006
A Day in the Life Pt. 2: Soup is Life
A Disclaimer: You may be reading this wondering "if he hates the customers so much, why doesn't he just get another job?"
Well that's where you have me wrong. I never once claimed to dislike the customers at my job. There are many customers whom I am pleased to serve. Many more customers fall into this category that the "problem customer."
However, there are some people who break the whole unwritten social contract between the customer and the service provider. Some people never learned that the world does not owe them a living, nor does it rotate around them. And it is to these customers that I dedicate this column.
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* 11:45- A customer asks where it is in the market that they throw fish. I patiently explain that they are thinking of Pike Place Market, which is some 300 miles south in Seattle. I suppose the confusion is justified, Vancouver does double as Seattle in many movies.
* 12:01- A busker angrily scream a song at his guitar. He's probably angry because it isn't playing the song correctly.
* 12:15- A customer is upset because we do not accept debit cards as a method of payment. His argument "everybody takes debit nowadays," is compelling but nevertheless fails to change this policy.
* 12:26- A customer quotes the "Soup Nazi." I silently add this to my running tally of times I've heard "No Soup For You!" So far: 2,186. I hope we don't owe royalties to Jerry Senfeld.
* 12:40- A customer asks what frozen soups we have available. After being directed to our list of frozen soups, she asks if the hot soups are available frozen.
* 12:50- 2,187.
* 1:12- A customer expressed her displeasure at our failure to accept debit. I offer to go to the ATM for her if she gives me her PIN. She declines.
* 1:15- Customer asks "is there seafood in the oyster soup?" I stand there in stunned silence.
* 1:22- I hear a mysterious grinding sound. Later I discover it was Ray Charles rolling in his grave because of the way a busker is savaging "Georgia on my Mind."
* 1:30- 2,188.
* 1:36- A customer complains "the oyster soup tastes fishy."
Such is the heady life of a soup monkey...
